This I Know to Be True

Here’s what I’ve noticed:

Everyone’s talking about 10-step plans to change your life, make a ton of money, and travel the world.
Everyone’s talking about “side-gigs” and “following your passion.”
Everyone’s talking about doing what you’re “meant” to do.

But no one seems to be talking about what we can do to make doing what we’re meant to do NORMAL.
No one seems to be pointing out WHY we aren’t already doing work that matters.
No one seems to be pointing out WHAT we need to understand to do that.
No one seems to be pointing out HOW we get there.

Here’s what I know to be true:

Fish will grow as large as their limits allow.
So, put a fish with ENORMOUS potential
into a t-tiny fishbowl, and he might just stay a t-tiny fella – he’s pretty comfortable.
OR
Put a fish with ENORMOUS potential into a t-tiny fishbowl, and she might just grow big enough to be squished up against the glass – super uncomfortable.
Either way, the glass is clear.
So even though the fish SEE the world around them, they don’t “see” what’s something stopping them from being the fish they COULD be!

Here’s what else I know to be true:

We grow up with a clear model of what we’re “supposed” to be.
What we’re “supposed” to do.
How we “should” do it.
They’re our personal beliefs.
They become our “rules” for life.
We measure what we will, or won’t do.
Can, or can’t do…
By our “personal internal rules” for what we believe is possible.
You are the fish.
Your “rules” are your fishbowl.

We’re filled with UNKNOWABLE potential.
Some of us get super comfy in the big space around us.
Staying small.
“I’m comfortable, this is good enough.”
And some of us are feeling a little squished.
“I did NOT go to college for this!”

Doing what you love and are good at is NOT the norm.
But it could be.
But before you can…
Before a 10 step formula will make you rich and happy.
Before you’ll be successful with a side gig.
Before you can follow your passion.
You have to become aware of your “rules.”
Your fears.
Your doubts.
That message on repeat in the back of your mind saying: “I can’t do this.”
You have to “see” how “rules” limit you.
And keep you from believing you can get bigger.
And better.

The “rules” are literally and figuratively “clear.”
We don’t see them, we FEEL them.
It’s why we get all squirmy and squidgy-teethed when someone asks, “What’s your big why?”

We FEEL like we’re meant for more, but we don’t believe we can have what we want.
Because we can’t see how we’ve grown into limits.
How “be realistic’s” and “that’s impossible’s” either propel us or prevent us.
We don’t see the ways they translate across life.
Holding us back from being who we want to be.

And since we don’t see our personal rules, how can we see that we’re inside a second fishbowl?
A second set of societal rules and expectations…
“Dress this way.” “Be this way.” “Do this.” “Don’t do that.”

Want to change the size of your fishbowl?
Or sprout legs and walk away from fishbowls?
Start by thinking about the things you say “I can’t” or,  “No” to.
That’s your fishbowl.
Think about how you use social media, magazines, and advertising to compare yourself to other people.
That’s your second fishbowl.

Following a 10-step plan without knowing your rules is like trying to open your car door at the bottom of a lake.
There’s too much pressure pushing back against the door for you to be able to open it.

This nifty tool breaks glass underwater.
All you do is push.
What if you had nifty tools that push you release the pressure and break your “rules?”